Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
