my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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