I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
