please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
