It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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