he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I have tasted many bathrooms
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
