I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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