I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
