I cannot find my penis.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
