We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
