Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
