i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
