Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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