You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
