White coat. Heels.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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