U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
