I don't think brook has ever known best
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
