she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
