I can tuck mytits in my pants
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
This baby is an asshole
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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