How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
