ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
