I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
