Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
