If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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