She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize