I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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