If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
