Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
