brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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