Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
