If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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