Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
