there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
