you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
