Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
