3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
