Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
