Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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