i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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