I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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