Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
