Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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