I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
is it fun? or sober?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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