Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
