Don't you send me to vm
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
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