problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
