I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize