why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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