she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize