I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
