11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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