I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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