ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My penis needs a shock collar
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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