its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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