who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
